Delight

A few years ago, I was walking through an incredibly difficult season. I felt confused and lost—I didn’t know who I was anymore, and I found myself questioning my most deeply held beliefs about who God is. My natural tendency, especially in times of uncertainty, is to try to “figure everything out”—to make sense of the pain, to fit all the pieces together until it forms a picture I can understand.

One evening, after dropping my son off at gymnastics, I wandered into a church service that was part of a conference. I didn’t know what I was looking for, just that I needed something to shift. As I entered, someone sitting in the front row caught my eye. The look on their face was unmistakable-delight. It stopped me in my tracks.

I remember thinking, “Can it really be? They look like they truly delight in me.” My life felt so messy in that moment. I was certain I wasn’t worthy of delight. Yet, somehow, this person’s expression didn’t seem to define me by my circumstances. It was as if, for a brief moment, they saw beyond my confusion and pain.

Something stirred deep within me. I wondered—maybe this is how God looks at me. Maybe He delights in me, not because of anything I’ve done or failed to do, but simply because I am His child. That realization was a pivot point. As we sang worship songs, I let the love of God wash over me. For the first time, I knew, without a doubt, that He delights in me.

I wept. It was the love and acceptance I had always longed for, but had believed I needed to earn. In that moment, I realized I didn’t need to earn it at all. Just as I delight in each of my children—regardless of their behavior—God delights in me, unconditionally.

There was no turning back. That night, I accepted my worth in God, and the healing began.