What? Relationship with myself?

Relationship: the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.

They make up of life. We relate to ourselves, God, and others on a daily basis.

When I first heard the phrase, “relationship with yourself,” I was immediately repulsed by it. I thought, “that’s weird and selfish. I need not focus on myself. That is against what the Bible says” As I warmed up to the idea, I realized that it is integral to my well-being to have a good relationship with myself. I am slowly having more compassion for myself, I am honoring my own feelings and needs, and am trying to set respectful boundaries. Is this easy? Nope. Every time I choose myself, I need to convince myself that it is not selfish. When I choose myself, I actually end up having more to give to those around me and it grows my compassion and empathy.

What is your relationship with God like? Is it confusing? Are you getting mixed messages about who He is? I would think, “He is a scary domineering God that uses His wrath against His people. Don’t step out of line or else”…The next day I would think,  “He is love.  How amazing. But, if He is love why do bad things happen to good people and why are these things happening in my life when I am doing such a good job obeying Him? What is love anyway?” For many years, my view of God caused me to relate to Him in specific ways. Then I realized that my thoughts and beliefs ABOUT God were shaping my relationship with Him and many of these thoughts and beliefs came from people. I started recognizing that when these thoughts came up, I could challenge them. (yes, that was scary to do) I decided to try to put aside everything people have said about God and I got determined to get to KNOW God. My life changed. I was able to say and mean, “God, you are good and I am so thankful to be a child of God.”

Do you think that if your relationship with God is good and you follow his principles in the Bible, all you relationships with others will be good? If this formula worked, that may fix all the problems in this world. Unfortunately, and fortunately, there are so many nuances in our relationship with others. For one, I am an imperfect human being, and others are also imperfect. How beautiful to think that each relationship is unique and can be an integral part of the tapestry we call life. Something that impacted my relationships with others is learning that I am responsible TO love others, but I am not responsible FOR others. I need to remind myself of that often, especially as my kids venture through their teen years. The same principles of loving yourself can be applied to your relationship with others: having compassion for others, honoring their feelings and needs, and setting respectful boundaries.

Life is a journey. As I have gotten to know God’s heart and grown closer to Him, it has changed my relationships with myself and others. Sometimes the exact circumstances do not turn out the “right” way according to my brain’s programming. Having compassion for others and for yourself, and taking care of your own needs during these messy times, is not selfish. It is essential and you are worth it!  I remind myself of this daily as I  surrender my relationships to God. As I let Him renew my mind, I am able to see the next step forward more clearly.  He sees the big picture and He cares so very much. You are not alone. You are seen and loved.