It Makes Sense

Relationships bring out a range of emotions. Just watch children interacting with each other: sudden bursts of rage at injustice, giddy laughter at shared silliness, tears of sadness from betrayal, loud groans of longing, fidgety bodies when facing something scary, deep acts of compassion with a tender look when someone is hurt, guilt after doing something wrong, excitement in anticipation of something good, hope to be seen and delighted in, pride and satisfaction after overcoming challenges, fear of being left out—the list goes on.

But what happens to these beautiful and normal reactions as we grow older?

Often, we are placed in situations where these emotions are shamed. We’re convinced they’re wrong and should be explained away or stuffed down. After hearing this message enough times, we start to believe it ourselves, reminding ourselves that our thoughts and emotions aren’t safe or are somehow bad. For myself, whenever I felt any emotion besides happiness, my old beliefs would say, “Oh, that’s a bad emotion—get rid of it. Stuff it down. You don’t want that emotion.” I would then spiritualize things and explain them away until the feeling was buried and a smile was pasted back on my face—while my body bore the cost of that emotional suppression.

A number of years ago, I began to notice how many different emotions are described in the Bible, and to my amazement, they weren’t spoken of negatively. In fact, I realized emotions are an incredible part of God’s beautiful creation. He gave us these feelings, He experienced them Himself, and—they make sense. What freedom I found in this realization! As my beliefs about emotions changed and I allowed myself to feel them, my body began to heal. I still remind myself—and my kids—every day: it makes sense.

- It makes sense to still hope for good relationships after being hurt over and over.

- It makes sense to be angry at injustice.

- It makes sense to cry if someone does something mean to you.

- It makes sense to feel scared of reconnecting after harm.

- It makes sense to fear the next betrayal.

- It makes sense to long for connection.

- It makes sense to hurt for others when they hurt.

It all makes sense!

God created us so beautifully. I’ve heard it said: e-motion—feelings cause motion.

- Anger is our strength.

- Fear is our discernment.

- Sadness is our healing.

- Guilt is our conscience former.

- Shame reveals our spiritual limitations.

Next time you feel an emotion, don’t try to explain it away. Just let it be, and say to yourself, “It makes sense.”